PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka

PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya
toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Kya ray! Aasmani kabutar!

Kya ray!
Aasmani kabutar!
Apun ko sms ka hafta nahi aarela hai,
Apun ko malum hai tere pass sms ka khazana padela hai,
Jaldi se 2-4 jhakas sms ka hafta bhej kanjoos?
Apka Pyara
Munna Bhai

Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette

Munna:
Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette
aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.
Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.

Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera

Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera
operation dobara karna paray ga.
Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves
teray andar hi reh gaye hain.
Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do.
Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo

Munna:
Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.

Meray paas aik buri khabar hai

Munna: Meray paas aik buri khabar hai, aur aik buhat hi buri khabar hai teray wastay.
Patient: Acha to pehlay buri khabar suna daal.
Munna: Apun k paas jo teri report pahunchi us mien likha tha k teray
paas sirf 24 ghantay hain zinda rehnay k liye.
Patient: Sirf 24 ghantay. is say buri khabar kya ho sakti hai.
Munna: (Jadu ki Japhhi Dalte Hoauy) Mien kal say teray tak pahunchnay ki koshish kar raha hoon.

Bhai bole to bachpan

Circuit- ” Bhai …. bole to bachpan
mein apun 20th Floor se gir gaya tha.”
Munna Bhai- “Aisa kya? To fir
bach gaya tha ya mar gaya tha?
Circuit- “Abhi jaane do na bhai itni purani baat…
Bole to ab apun ko jyada yaad nahin!!”

Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai

MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bail,
Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti

LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man,
but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.
Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka!

Akal badi ki bhais

PROFESSOR: Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein

PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein
gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

After finishing MBBS

After finishing MBBS… Dr Munna Bhai starts his practice.
He checked his FIRST patient’s eyes,
tongue & ears by TORCH & finally what did he say?
“Battery is OK”

Baapu bole to gandhi ji

Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to
gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?
Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us
time ke salmaan khan thay!!!

Oye Short Circuit yeh light

MUNNA BHAI : Oye Short Circuit yeh light
bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi

CIRCUIT- Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI- Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT- Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI- Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT- Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai

MUNNA BHAI- Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai,
aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL- Ullu to raat ko bolta hai,
aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost

CIRCUIT- Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla
aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay
kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI- Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT- Nahin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.

Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad

CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega.

Oye, maar gayay yaar

MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar.
Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehli hain.
MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

Ab itni night ko apun tere ko

Ab itni night ko apun tere ko
kisi film ki kahani sunane
k liye msg to karega nahin.
Common sense ki baat hai k
tere ko GUD Night bolney ka hai!
Chal ludak le..